Wow, you have just written a narrative of my daily life. I have been going through this for as long as I can remember, but on top of it, I have panic attacks that keep me a prisoner in my house. I have been labled a "drug-seeker" by both psyc and md doctors, which has prevented them from actually prescribing anything for the anxiety. Just a couple days ago, I met with a new psychiatrist, which went terribly. I had an hour long appointment, because it was my first time meeting her, and my new case manager even with me- I didn't last 10-15 minutes before walking out, informing the entire full waiting room that this place is a joke and they'd be much better off going somewhere else! When I got out of the elevator, I told a family that had 2 kids with them that they were going to mess their kids up for life bringing them there. I am at such a loss as to what to do now, state insurance only pays for THIS one place, which has failed and failed to actually treat me like a person. They even forced me to keep seeing a dr for two years that sexualy harrased me, which of course they didn't even believe. I hope you find a way through this, and if/when you do, you share it here, because I know I for one have just about lost all hope. Oh, and another thought on how this has been getting more intense for you lately- there is a lot of really intense planetary allignments going on this year astrologically, which I've noticed is intensifying a lot of poblems for lots of people. Also- sometimes diagnosis can change, and medication reactions can pop up- sometimes I've suddenly goten totally manic from an antidepressant after 6 months of it working normally... just a couple ideas. I wish you the best...