i write things down to take to my T (used to when i ahd one that is

thats the only way i coud get to discuss things...

you said you were in pain inside and out - wiht the physical pain - what is being done for that? having both makes it so much harder to bear.

I read your profile - and thing its great you are going to try somthing new - this may sound dumb to you - it did to me when it was suggested - have you tried a gratitude diary? its just a notebook - where every day you write down 5 things that you are grateful for - it can help wiht depression cos when we are down we tend to only see the darkness surrounding us and forget about the light.

You are starting a whole new chapter in your life - its scary and challenging - its only natural that you react to this - please try to discuss your feelings wiht your counsellor or T - even if its showing what you have written down when you are not there - they need to know where you are in your mind ....

Sometimes it seems that we are at the bottom of a deep hole with no way out - but there is always a way out - there is always hope no matter how dark it is - even when we cant see it its there.

Please take gentle care of yourself and know there are people here who understand the darkness of depression

you can do this - you can get better - one step at a time - one second at a time step by step

take care and keep posting

P7