My t hasn't set a date for retirement yet, but she has let me know she's begun thinking about it. She also mentioned on my session recently, that when she retires, she wants to volunteer with Boys Club or Girls Club (or some organization of that sort) where she can work with children and develop a relationship with them.

I know it's selfish, but a part of me feels really, really sad. I've never had a relationship before like i have with my t. And the thought of her retiring has always scared me SO bad. I'm afraid she will go when i still need her.

I am glad that she wants to help children. but i feel devastated when i realize that when she retires, she will be ending our relationship and beginning new relationships with others who need help. It really makes a part of me cry inside.

I told her how i was feeling about it, and she said that by that time, she thinks i "will have been able to take in the good parts of our relationship and keep them inside where they need to be."

Is she saying that, by the time she retires, I won't feel sad and devastated about losing our relationship? I just can't imagine how it's ever going to feel OK to me to walk away from her. I'm really scared that she's thinking i'll be able to let go, but i won't. What will i do if i can't, and it feels like an abandonment? What if i can't bear it?

Has anybody else here been as attached as i am to my t, and yet they were OK when therapy finally ended and could walk away without being devastated?

I really need some kind of reassurance about this because I'm scared.