vj: huge, huge hugs for you today! You are so supportive to everyone here..wish I could give you some good advice about how to deal with your kids...I always found duct tape and a dark closet are a good start JUST KIDDING!!! Seriously, one of the hardest things I had to learn was to let my kids take responsibility for their own actions and also accept the consequences. If you can, try to just ignore them for the most part, or send them to another room in the house (or another planet), and let them deal with their own actions. As for dinner, I'm a fan of putting it one the table, laying out firm expectations of courteous behavior and if they don't like it, suggest they leave the table. At some point, your son will get hungry enough to eat without complaining. Remember, you're a mother, but you're not a maid. And when they're adults, they are going to have to figure out how to function in society (even if we can't)... and I'm pretty sure that kind of behavior isn't going to get them very far! Hang in there, cry if you need to, find a safe place to scream at the top of your lungs if you need to, but mostly just take care of yourself.