Hi Everybody.....for those who know me here.....if you are wondering what has happened to my story....

Well....I met Brandon for three fantastic dates....I've never had such a connection with anybody this quickly....everything seemed to be right....till after the third date, he had to go to a weekend trip in Colorado....and then after that I didn't hear from him....I texted him and he replied back then I didn't contact him wishing he gets in touch....and no nothing....I could not convinced myself that he's with somebody else, but that was a best option for me to move on....This has happened couple of weeks ago.....

last week he emailed me....a long email from England....he got this contract job in England, in an island south of England for a research....and he moved there, very quickly....I know you might think he lies, but he doesn't....There is really no need to lie....plus he emailed me from his new work and I can trace him back.....thanks to internet!

His email was so sweet and leaving option for me to contact him and of course apologizing about not contacting me.....but should I be mad here? NO....I was not mad....I just met him three times.....honesty, it could be worse than this....he could have spent more time with me and leave without telling me, but he didn't....I appreciated actually.....

I emailed him back....I really like this guy, and I don't know how things will go....I really don't want to think too much....so far, I'm dealing with anxiety so much, and I can't deal with a relationship....but I'm okay to think about him time to time and not be afraid of love....and wishing him happiness and love....

He wants to come back to California for few days in September and I'm hoping to meet him.....

Isn't it odd? Me, Marjan, who is suspicious to everything and not letting anybody to fool her, now she wants to trust, something deep down inside me is telling me "he's a good person!"....and I don't even think about him to get hooked up with others.....well...there is no guarantee in life....I see my friends to be married and their husbands are cheating on them.....am I getting mature finally?

but of course, I checked him on the online dating site, I saw he was not active for two weeks, then I saw him active yesterday and he changed his location to England.....Is he looking for somebody over there? well....I was online too.....do I really want to check his status anymore? I don't think so....there is nothing that I can do about it....it just makes me upset....besides, it's possibility that he's checking on me too....hehehe....two way street!

I think I'm going to quite all this online dating for awhile....It's giving me so much headache and anxiety....that's the last thing I need in my life now....

Today, I was really relaxed, even before getting email from him....and I do appreciate this neutral feeling.....

Yes, I dated another guy from online dating....he was handsome, and had PHD, but not for me at all....I didn't feel the connection with him....first I told him, I would go out with him again, but then I changed my mind, why should I do that....i don't want anybody to do the same thing with me....he figured out and he asked me if I'm interested and I told him I didn't feel the connection....now we are kinda friend....not bad....

thanks everybody for your support here
with love
marjan