Violet, we accept the things as we are able. We are in a "pattern" of denial. That is what this whole thing is about...PTSD. We denied, repressed, etc. We do this and use it to survive. It becomes automatic. When we begin to deal with the truth, it becomes scarey adn we often fall back into the pattern. It will come and go. Bits and pieces will come forward. Some will be accepted, some rejected...for now...as we are able to process and digest the crap. It is a long , on going process. But it is worth the effort and struggle. When the denial falls away, it will be a major wieght lifted from your shoulders and you will see the truth more clearly.
But for now, you are processing as you are able to handle it. The things you reject in denial will resurface as you are able to process them. I ahve been "introduced" to many things from my past over the years. Some I just had a bad gut feeling about, some I would ask questions about with family members ( safe family), if they were lieing to me about the story, my gut groaned within me. I KNEW it was a "cover-up". But I let it go until I was ready to dig deeper.
It is a l;ong process of "trial & error". But the truth will not get lost as long as you are willing to look, even if you deny it...you see it. Then when you are ready, you will feel and accept it and the healing will be even greater.
Many safe hugs adn please be kind to yourself/selves. If this stuff was believable on a "sane" level of thinking, we would not be dealing with PTSD, just a few bad memories....so yes, it probably did really happen.
Please keep yourself safe adn remember, YOU ALREADY LIVED THROUGH IT!! It cannot hurt you now, just makes you feel like you are being hurt. You are strong, you are a survivor...just being victimized by the haunting crap left behind.