Yes I do relate to that part too. My dad is very honest and hard working. He has developed a very strong reputation for those qualities. And we live in a tiny little town, so reputations are very important. If I were to criticize his parenting it would make me look like a piece of crap in a lot of people's eyes. He loved us and tried his best to raise us right, but he did a lot of things wrong in my eyes too. Some of those things affected me into my adult life. I have wanted to tell him before, some of the things I felt he did wrong. It's like when your a kid and you get mad at your parents for something, all you want is to be grown up so that you can "show them". They always said I would understand when I was older. Honestly, some of the things I understand now, but a lot of them I think are totally wrong and I will raise my kids differently. It's like sometimes I want to rub it in his face that I think he is still wrong after all these years, but I realized that it would only make everyone unhappy. I know that he tried his best and thought he was always doing the right thing, so to tell him that I though he was a bad parent in some ways (and still do) it would absolutely crush him. His intentions have always been great, but a little misguided. Sometimes I still want to shake him and say "this is what happens when you do what you did", but I know it would only create ill feelings.

Yeah we really have to stay with them for a little while at least. We are moving half way across the country. We have had the house up for sale since Feb and still trying to sell. We can't secure a place to rent bc we don't know when we will be coming, and it will be a last minute move when it happens. I have a job waiting on me so I have to get there when I resign from this job. Once we get there we will look for a place to rent and it will just be how soon we can find a place til we can leave my folks. So maybe not long. I think a month at the most. It will be hard at times I expect, but I am determined not to let him get to me while I am there. I still want that tatoo!!!

Our dads sound a lot alike in many ways. The hardest part for me was realizing that it is ok for me to be my own person and not who he wants me to be. Once I am ok with that (still working on it) I think I will be able to deal with him. I'm sorry that your dad has hurt you with his words. Has he ever acknowledged that he did some things wrong and tried to change? You said you feel like he is making an effort when he talked to you on the phone. I just wonder if it is his way of making the first step towards repairing your relationship.