This summer has really gone into the crapper. The depression is bad, really bad. I don't give a crap about anything. Empty, lonely, hauled up in my room. I am not taking responsibility for myself, or my family, or my dog, or my household duties. To top it off I have had an earache for over a week and it's moved into my throat. I hate my primary care, and not going to call. I'd have to get dressed to get it checked out and I sure as hell don't want to go thru that. So I'm in pain. Voices are loud and abusive, as usual. Can't call my new T...he doesn't know me yet, I haven't been honest with him about the depression, nor have I brought up the voices yet. Pdoc increased my lamictal last week...so calling him will do no good either. I feel like such a freakin looser. I keep yelling at myself to get up and do something, use skills, self soothe...SOMETHING. Yet I still just lie here the disgusting lazy person that I am, letting it all cave in on me. stupid, stupid looser *****...good for nothing piece of crap.