HA! Made it through Day Five by staying busy and getting out of my own way!

Also, got to chat online via FB with another borderline gal in the program, and pass it on, as they say. She is so enmeshed! It really gave me perspective. My ex has not contacted me. He has always had really good boundaries about that. I think because he has had issues like this with escalating domestic stuff in the past? He served 6 months for something like that, he says he is not guilty and was set up? I dunno. He seems like he gets angry and yells alot, and is jealous and controlling, but he is sober so although he has a history of violence (beating up other guys) I think he is more into mentally manipulating women to feed his sense of power and control.

But once you draw that line with him, he backs off. I think this last go around we both realized we were both escalating to new levels. We both said some pretty ugly and hurtful things. So, I think the fact that neither of us has broken down and texted the other is a sign that we were both alarmed by how we behaved.

I don't mean to man-bash him or anything, but it helps me to remember, because I
had a weak moment out of the blue about 15 minutes ago. I just got this overwhelming urge to text him. Probably brought on by chatting with my friend earlier. Hence, my second post of the day here.

Anyway, I think that should do it. Now to go help somebody who is truly in need!

I think as time passes and I continue to build my own life, and to get a life, these moments will grow fewer and farther between. One girl in a meeting put it like this, "it is like sitting around and watching your hair grow. You get busy, live your life, and help others. A year later, you have beautiful long hair and you didn't even notice what a pain it was growing it out!"