Wow - I really have to agree with Wisewoman 100%. I am so sorry that your son is not with you, that you see so little of him, and that his Mom doesnt tell him the truth, but if you try to explain to a 7 yr old all of what you said above, he has absolutely no way to understand it ! I can understand your frustration, since you went thru a bad childhood issue yourself, but he is ONLY 7 years old. PLEASE don't try to involve him in ADULT issues. He just will not understand ! If you say bad things about his Mother, that is stooping to her level. Be your son's safe place to fall, tell him how badly you want to see him all the time - but with the distance - you can't. Teach him how to phone you if he ever wants to talk to you.

Please only answer his questions about why you and his Mom are no longer married with an explanation about "some folks just cannot stay married, and they get a divorce from each other, but that does not mean you divorced HIM" etc. All children think it's their fault in some way - reassure him it had nothing to do with him.

Altho you state you and your ex cannot talk civilly - DO IT. Be the better person, talk to her and let her know that your court papers say you are supposed to be allowed to see your son regularly and that you want that to start ASAP ! Let her know that you want to have a good relationship with your son, and it's hard for you to have so little access. If she is not willing to meet you in the middle, so to speak, go thru the courts and let them set up RIGID rules for your time with him. You absolutely need to see him more than 2 times a year and then only for a few hours. Perhaps she will see the benefit to doing this willingly - it won't look good to the Courts if she doesnt work with you !

PLEASE - do not tell him the details about his Mother's activities that led to your divorce - he wont understand, and it is unfair to put that burden on him !