Someone asked me, repeatedly, what I want.
- I want to be my children's mother. That means equal custody and decision-making rights.
- I want what is best for the kids, whether that means for them to stay with their dad so that they can stay near their friends and in the same schools, or if it is best for them to come with me. For now it might be best for them to stay with him because I don't know where I am going, and I don't want to turn their lives upside down.
- I want to exist.
- I want an identity.
- I want a place to live. I expect to have to give up most of my animals, at least for now, but I need to be able to keep at least my cats. I need somebody, and the cats may be it for now.
- Eventually, I want to be able to buy my own house. I understand and accept that I may need to wait a few years before that is possible.
- I want to be respected. No more swearing at me or discrediting me or blaming me for my illness, for bills, or for anything that is beyond my control.
- I want a future. That includes access to health care and retirement. I would have had those things if I had started my career 20 years ago. The benefits that he earned by his employment are not only his. My contribution was to stay home and raise the children, and also supporting him in completing his education so that he has been able to have his career.
Is this too many "I wants?"
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg
