Missquestions, I see a family therapist even though I go all by myself. He does a lot of couples therapy so he is really good at helping with relationship issues. Part of relationship issues is usually communication difficulties, and my therapist has also been really good at helping me to learn to communicate better. We have worked on my expressing myself more directly (not expecting others to know what I want and need if I don't say so), not jumping to conclusions about what others are thinking (instead, ask them!), being a good listener and then reflecting back what they say so we can both make sure I heard them and understood--stuff like that. It has been really helpful.

From reading what you wrote, I wasn't sure if the emotional difficulties you wrote about are what is causing the relationship problems or are a result of the relationship problems. It might be expected to feel really sad if the relationship is going poorly, so learning to control whether you express sadness (keep those tears inside) won't help the relationship much if they are just a reaction to a poor relationship rather than the cause. See what I mean? If things were going well in the relationship, would you be sad and angry?

Without your having a diagnosis, I think finding a good, general therapist who deals with relationship issues (as well as other things) is a good idea rather than seeking out someone who is focused on a specific technique such as DBT. I know DBT has helped a lot of people with emotional regulation but from what you wrote, I'm not sure that is the underlying issue and wouldn't want to see you get focused on something that will not get at the core problems in your relationship.... So I think a good general family T who does couples work (even though you go alone) would be a good starting point.

That is just one idea, and I understand if it does not seem to fit your situation after all, and you make another choice. It's hard from one post to know what a person really needs. I liked what ECHOES wrote about reading up on different types of therapy at that website. Maybe after reading, some approaches will resonate with you whereas you will be certain that others are not what you need at all. Best of luck to you!