right now i am very upset. I picked up my cousin from her work and she asked me why i wasnt back by 1. well i went to bring my boss some info on bipolar. My cousin tells me thats the stupidest thing to do. Then she went on saying i dont have bipolar and that i am obsessed with my health. Where did this come from. She tells me the drugs im on are not for bipolar at all. OK on the info sheet it says bipolar disorder. She tells me that im stupid for doing what i did and that im a big faker. that i was looking for sympathy from my work and that all they will do is look down on me. Then she went on to saying this is something u keep to urself and if u go blabbing it then u will never be anything. u cant be a psychologist, RN, LPN, teacher or anything if ur bipolar. Just shattered my dreams. I just got over from a suicide thought and plan, and just got my mood to were it is normal. Now she just shot me back to my old depressed self. I was so relax and so calm and then she just shot me down. Then she had the nerve to say that i bet i think shes a *****. I said no i just am tired of everyone *****ing to me about something. She than says that u say ur life is all horrible and all and u have no idea. I been through worse than u have. I kept my mouth shut but i wanted to say oh u poor baby, u had the worse life in the whole F**ken world. She just wouldnt stop *****ing at me. I told her i dont want to talk about this. She finnally shut up.

I just went home and ran the bath water on full hot. I mean all the way to the hot part. I litterally scolded myself. Then i slashed my leg over and over and stabbed it over and over.

I am so tired of this. I am tired of the world putting me down. I kept trying to say to myself that she doesnt know anything. She doesnt know that i was physically assaulted 3 times, sexually assaulted memory but not confirmed, been physically abused by my own mother and verbally abused not to mention. I know she was kicked out by her parents numerous times, but guess what her parents tried to help her when they kicked her out. THEY KICKED HER OUT BECAUSE SHE WAS A METH ADDICT. if it was my kid yeah i would of done the same thing. At least her parents were willing to spend time with her and money to help her. My mom i could not get a penny out of her. I had to literally call myself and go without her knowing for help.

sorry this is so long. I am so pist and i need to get this out. So telling my boss well maybe its a mistake maybe not. ITS MY LIFE. I might as well quit taking my meds and go back to how i was. Cause according to her IM A FU*KEN HYPOCHONDRIAC.

again i apologize for the cursing and yelling. im just venting.