I wasn't sure whether to put this is relationships or here and I'm sorry if this is long. I'm always puzzled by this dilemma of how to handle things when different parenting styles come up. I know it better if both parents can be a 'united front'. Usually if I disagree, I ask myself "is it worth the trouble of saying anything"?

Last night my youngest was going out for a walk with her father and Bella. We have a control panel on the frame of the garage, with a key pad - you just key in the numbers and it closes. It was night time BTW. Her father wanted my 8 yr old to close the garage. She didn't want to because there's usually spiders around that area.

I'm inside and go out to put something in the recycle box - to my surprise they are at a 'stand off' near the garage door. He insists she close it despite her fear and she doesn't want to. He's mentally coercing her and she's crying. Usually if I interject, then I get in the fight but I couldn't stand it. He said if she doesn't confront her fears she'll be scared all her life and not be able to deal with spiders. I said "I'm scared of them but can kill them if needed. Then he said "fine go in your house and you'll be afraid to come out all your life." He handed me the dog leash and takes off in his car without a "goodbye". How completely childish.

My 8 yr old was crying. Later she called him and reminded him that she held a Tarantula and a big snake at a birthday party....that it wasn't nice to force her to do something she didn't want to do. Then she told him it was mean to just storm away.

Yes I'm a firm believer in confronting fears and know all about desensitization but that's not how you DO IT!!! A therapist wouldn't just plop a person in a room with spiders against their will. My style is 'gentle compliance but if they don't want to something, then I respect their feelings. He's afraid of snakes, so I don't think he would appreciate someone forcing him to go in a field where there's snakes. It's all so maddening and I have to remind myself that I think I made the right decision.