I think your 8 year old learned a great deal from the confrontation; she also won't be afraid to confront a male in her future, knows what she knows and what she wants! That too usually doesn't get taught without the conflict? It sounds like she is not afraid of her father and the two of them are able to communicate "equally"?

I think there are many ways to do things and the important issue is everyone trying to understand the other's point of view and work with it. However, we all have difficulties with that, have to learn what works and what doesn't work. I don't think your husband will try to force his daughter again in that way, maybe even partially because he doesn't want to make her cry.

But it can be frustrating not to understand how "else" one is to learn not to become afraid of spiders; I could understand if there were spiders around the place she had to touch that she saw and were objecting to specifically, but she was just objecting to the "might be" of the situation, it sounds like to me and that can be dangerous, in my experience, dealing with anxiety and fear. Being afraid of the might be can make one afraid to be afraid and I've been there, done that, got the teeshirt but didn't get over it until my 50's!