Mellors...what a tough spot. I'm sorry your ex is keeping you from your son. I applaud you for continuing to fight. He WILL remember this someday.

However, I too, believe if you bad mouth his mother to him it will come back to haunt you. Don't do it. One of these days (possibly quite soon) your son will be old enough to figure out what she is doing. I think he will be very upset that she kept you from him. He must find that out on his own though. She's his mother no matter what. That is important to him.

My cousin's ex wife is much like your ex with their son. She uses him to try and manipulate my cousin. My cousin just doesn't buy into it. For several years, he tried to pit Mom against Dad, luckily Dad wouldn't bite. He slowly started realizing what was kept from him. His son is going to be 16 this year and he sees what his mother is attempting to do.

When you tell him you had no choice to leave and he asks why, could you tell him something to the effect that "even though Mom and Dad love you (him), sometimes adults just can't live together. They're better Moms and Dads if they live apart."? That way you aren't lying and you are placing blame on his mother.

Other than that, is there anything you can do legally to get her to comply better?

I wish things were simplier. Good luck, mellors.