Spent more than 4 hours trying to say something.. actually I was just looking at the screen. But I have nothing else to do.. so let me try.

I can't sleep, can't eat.. can't talk because when I do - I can't neither breathe or think. Oh and I've lost my last friend back in October (or was it November) just trying to "talk to someone" again. Never heard from him since. But it doesn't matter cuz I'm too embarrassed to call any number anyway.

Wanted to end it two months ago, as a present for my 30th birthday. But after "last" day at work on the way home I changed my mind! A taxi driver said he liked the song that was on the radio. The song was about - _Don't throw your life away, the time will come, I will take it from you_ stuff.

These weird things happen to me sometimes, you could say I was almost waiting for one that day. Unfortunately, not only it was the song that made me stop, but mostly my parents. I'm still the only one with the job in this family and that is what keeps me here. The situation is a bit ironic cuz family members are the reason I am an idiot.

Unable to feel the positive side of existence, I get all the crap.

Awww, Life is great.. I'm totally sure.