Perna, thank you for your wisdom and caution. I know it will be one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I know that man - sadly. I have held him while he cried like a baby too many times. Emotionally, he "used" me as his therapist while I was growing up (in addition to other abuse). So I really do know him and how he works. My fear had not been over him, he is 82 yrs old now and a skinny, frail man. My T even said he would love to be able to "whoop" him for what he did to me and wouldn't feel bad at all even with my dad being so old and such. I know for a fact that my dad's percieved "perfect" relationship with "HIS" "baby girl" is one of the most valuable things he has in his entire life. He doesn't expect me to remember what was done. And he had re-created the past in his mind so many times with lies and everything else that I honestly wonder how much of what he did HE actually remembers at times. He is a sociopath who has convinced himself that he is not the monster some see he is.

So I know that when I look in his eyes with MY truth, that he will see the disconnect, the disdain, and the new freedom I have found. He WILL know that I am NOT "HIS" as he always claimed. And I know he is a very big coward. I know he will not confront me about this because that is not how he works. He has always abused children because they were weaker than he was and he could manipulate them. Like my brother said "Dad is a bully."

So while I know this is not going to be a walk in the park by any stretch of the imagination, I also know that I do have what it takes inside myself to make this stand to him and not fall apart. I know I need to do it before he finally dies and stops using air someone who deserves it could use. He took too much from me for too long. This is going to be MY day, not his. It's over.