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lynn09 · Aug 29, 2010, 06:30 PM

(((((dps))))) The truths about your abusers and your true self are in your words, and “SEND” sets you free - “SEND” says, “I AM” and “I CHOOSE.” Use the “DELETE” key to erase your abusers' lies, NOT to silence your words and erase yourself.

Keep the can of Raid handy, but also use those spider-spies to deliver your declarations of freedom and autonomy to your abusers, and SHOUT those same declarations at the radio tower lights to rupture the eardrums of those who have convinced you that they are listening. The TRUTH is that your abusers possess NO power or authority over you whatsoever unless YOU give it to them – and your abusers had to force you to give them that power and authority over you because they knew those were not theirs by right. They abused you because THEY FEARED YOU in the first place; feared your innocence and potential; feared that you were better than them; feared you would become more than them. They infected you with their own fears; they programmed you to perceive yourself as being less than them, no better than them, to validate their self-delusions of superior worthiness to exist – to compensate for their own self-doubts and feelings of inferiority so they wouldn't be consumed by their own malignant fears. Their greatest FEAR is you knowing and embracing the truths about them and yourself; so, know those truths, dps – embrace them, be your true self and, by doing so, become your abusers' worst nightmare!

When confronting your memories, try to objectify them as much as possible - “Just the facts, Ma'am” - just the “what happened.” Your memories are valuable information resources, but they do NOT define your identity. Do not pass judgment on yourself; you are not personally responsible for anything that your abusers forced you to believe, say, write, witness, do, and/or refrain from because you were not free to choose for yourself. Even in the present, any time you unconsciously act/react according to the corrupted programming your abusers implanted in your subconscious (conditioning), you are not responsible because you are not freely choosing your behavior – your abusers carry the burden of guilt alone. Try not to waste your time and energy debating whether the things your abusers said about you were/are true or not; everything they have ever done and everything they have ever said to you and about you to others was intended to inflict pain and damage on you. Period. If they lied to you about anything then you can safely assume that they have lied about everything, so you have no reason to respect their opinions about anything. Your abusers were, are, and will be according to their own choices. You alone have the right, power, and authority to define your identity in the past, present, and future realities.

You know that I am not being cavalier about your situation or in what I'm saying to you and others, dps, since I am fighting the same battles and have plenty of my own “ghosts” to exorcise. The same psychological damage is inflicted on all victims of abuse (physical, sexual, verbal, and/or emotional) varying only in degree, but not in kind, because all abuse is intended to distort the victim's perception of reality – especially to adversely influence the victim's perception of their own identity in service to the abuser's self-interests. All bullies and tyrants are abusers, and all abusers are cowards hopelessly enslaved to their own fears and seeking only to control how others perceive reality – to forcibly impose their will on others by ANY means necessary (deception, manipulation, defamation, coercion, intimidation, destruction) and at ANY cost to anyone other than themselves to prove their self-worth – or so they delude themselves. The truth is that in trying to save themselves by abusing others, abusers victimize themselves – they are nothing more than smoke and mist – fear and self-doubt – wasted lives achieving only appearance rather than substance – white-washed tombs filled with dead men's bones – never truly alive, they are the walking dead. Even now, dps, in your pain, grief, trepidation, and vulnerability, you are more alive than your abusers can ever hope to be unless they get the help they so desperately need.

Tend your little garden of words well, dps; good soil and light to create the proper environment to maximize growth; treat it with weed killer to destroy the roots of your abusers' lies that try to choke the tender little shoots of your words, your vulnerable true self that is struggling to reach the light and life; destroy the lies so you can see/know the truth, and create the life you desire. Fertilize well with the love of your friends and caring support team, and water generously with your tears so your garden can be healthy and produce vividly-colored, fragrant blossoms to attract and delight those who draw near, the butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds who feed on the blossoms' nectar and spread their seeds throughout and beyond the garden walls.

Your Friend lynn09