Quote:
Originally Posted by BNLsMOM
So my ex had my son this weekend and today I found out they went to see a minor league baseball game. He said that after the game he would drop my son off.
First, some back story. I am convinced that when we were married, that he cheated on me. I am also convinced I know who it was. There was an incident when we were in college where one of our friends was very flirty with him all the time and was somewhat of a tease. In my attempt to appear cool and not jealous, I let it happen. So one night we were all hanging out and got really drunk and he exposed himself to her in the hall and then disappeared for hours. I should have broken up with him right then. Anyway, I still wanted to appear to be "the coolest girlfriend ever" so I finally let it go.
Fast forward to today. I see the car drive up, so I open the door to greet them. OMG. SHE gets out of the car.
First of all, I haven't seen her in years and I intended to keep it that way. Secondly, I have been noticing a lot of flirting between them on Facebook, triangling with my ex's new wife. It gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. Now, maybe there is no triangle between them, but when I was with him, she kept showing up at weird times and it seemed like they had this epic forbidden love story going on between them. So I am the first to admit that I get paranoid about things, so maybe she is just a friend, but when he and I were engaged he passed a disease on to me. I had never in my life been with anyone else EVER, and he didn't pass this to me until three years into our relationship. (Fortunately, it cleared up with antibiotics and I have no lasting effects)
So today to have her standing in my house, with him, the new wife and my son was very weird. I am actually rather triggered by it to tell you the truth. I don't need her judging me and my disgusting messy house, hair that hasn't been done in a week, weight put on from meds...
I can just picture them all in the car talking about me. "Oh, poor _____ she is bipolar and such a mess...etc."
The thing that pisses me off the most is that I happen to know she lives right in my town and they totally could have dropped her off first!
Seeing her on Facebook is one thing, having her in my house is quite another. I feel like I have been contaminated.
And, I was nice and invited them all in to sit for a few minutes and they declined. So, I know I did the right thing.
I wish I could puke.
My home is MY home and he doesn't get to bring whoever he wants into it!
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I have so much repect for you that my heart is bursting with pride. Even though he has done the best he can delope FDS (F*cki*g Do*ch*E B*g Syndrome.) Not only did he disrespect you in your marriage, the fact that you accrued his dispresct without confrontation thus allowing him to continue is behavior; Since your divorce, it seems that you have made many strugges toward recovery , thus contining you declining health, self esteem Yet you can allow NO one to interfere on the original family behavior (even pcik-ups and drop offs) unless ALL parties agree. Your children may be having a "honeymoon" period getting from the new girlfriend by offerig private attentions. You cannot complete with this action but it is . The reason for putting this bondary into the exchange of the children without any dates on either party is to allow the chldren a acclimation time without influence from outsid
Draw some boundaries. What is best for the good of the kids and a healthy family withoug him, a stronger family; depends on you esbalishing and adhering to your boundaries. This is not about control or disrespecting someone else, this is about the kids even if he makes poor choices. You will be on my prayers as well. Keep up the good work.
ptk