I feel just, completely horrible. I want to be consumed in numbess and dissociation where I can't feel or think anymore. I want to be so gone to the point where I have no idea what's going on, and nothing is going through my mind. I can't take how I'm feeling, and I want it all to go away. I don't want to cry over every song I hear. I don't want to cry everytime I think about things that happened. I just want to be so lost in nothing.

My depression gets so bad at night. I think about this all day, but it gets worse at night. I can't stop ****ing crying. I want someone to take the ability to think out of my brain.

I'm so tired, lacking of so much sleep and food because of the sleep, and it's making everything worse. I've never felt like this before. It's so much worse than being suicidal. I don't want to die, I just want to be numb.

I don't know how to fix this feeling. I know why it's happening, but I don't know if I should say. This was probably a pointless thread, I'm sorry.