Belle... just noticed the thread or I would have come around here sooner.

Reading through the thread I keep wondering how you might better position yourself to feel less vulnerable. It seems to me you give Louise a lot of your power. I think women generally do that to their detriment.

Why is your security dependant on Louise saying or doing this or that to reassure you? Why are you reading between the lines to discern what he is saying or not saying? Why is he holding all the cards for you?

I think it is a power issue. I think women give up their power to men in relationships and that is why women are so hurt when a relationship breaks down. They have no power. They don't know thier own power because they detached themselves from it when they 'fall in love'.

Maybe the life lesson this relationship represents, and the reason you are struggling to define the relationship and 'know' his 'true' feelings, and the reason you are feeling anxious is because you are once again giving up your power. Power you worked very hard to reclaim after Mark.

What would Louise and the relationship look like if you viewed it with a sense of your own power not being compromised or turned over to him and his whimes and fancies? It is not just about you keeping Louise interested it is also about Louise keeping you interested.

I am not sure I am communicating very well here. I am a little off today. Basically what I am trying to say I think is that women need to hold on to their power and not give it away to get a man. I think men prefer women who are strong and self sufficient and who know their own minds. I am not saying you aren't all of these things but listening to you doubting yourself and questioning his sincerity sounds like you may be giving too much away. It sounds like your happiness is dependant on his feelings, his actions, his intensions. He doesn't seem to have to do anything to win you over except tell you he is not going anywhere.

Just don't give up your power. I want to explain better what I mean by that but its not coming out right so I will just leave it for you to maybe contemplate and see if there isn't something useful you can kleen from the concept.