You are not a waste. You are stronger than you realize. You post on here to let out emotions. This is actuall a good sign. Shows you do want to get through this. Reach out here as long as you need to. And when you get up enough motivation to take the other steps you will be more prepared. Keep telling youself things will get better and have already started since you have taken those first steps. We are proud of you. We will always listen and offer support. Keep us posted.