So... I saw my counsellor today and cried all the way through.

My GP phoned me and I cried all the way through that too.

My pastor's wife called me and I cried all the way through that too.

I feel so overwhelmed. Too much to do and I can't make myself do it. I feel so stupid because not doing it places even more strain and failure on me. A lot of the stuff is simple everyday stuff - I'm just not doing it and as a result things are falling apart. I don't want all this responsibility. I want to crawl into a hole somewhere.
My counsellor asked if I was suicidal ... and I don't know what the answer to that one is any more.

It's the holidays. I should feel better. But it is like everything is falling apart - or I am fallling apart so everything I was holding together is dropping. I don't want to be the grown up. I don't want to carry all this responsibility.

Caroline