I still feel terrible, even after sleeping all night.

This is churning up my symptoms, big time. I hated that time of my life and I am re-living it.

My paranoia and anxiety is getting stronger and I am using all the skills I have just to function today. I have declared today laundry day because I can't bear to go out. I had to walk the dog and I wanted to stay in the shadows, but there weren't any because it is bright sunshine outside.

Damn it. This is such a back slide for me. I am holding on as tight as I can. I feel like such a failure!

TRIGGER





Many many many images of self harm last night. I had to physically keep myself away from the razors in the bathroom because I was afraid I would rip one open and use one. I also had the phrase, "I am going to kill myself," go through my head a lot.