I am so sorry you are struggling. I can really relate to the crippling anxiety you describe. I also have a lot of issues with extreme anxiety and panic attacks and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

It's a great achievement that you are continuing to go to work, even though it's difficult. And it's good to hear that the people you work with are understanding.

You say you've tried other medications and I'm just wondering if you've been on an anti-depressant? (as opposed to just the anti-anxiety medications such as Ativan) I take Zoloft and it does help my anxiety somewhat (though not as much as I would like). Some people seem to do well on a combination of an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety agent. I know that just trying a new medication can in itself be cause for anxiety though.....

I really feel for you and I hope your pdoc calls back soon and that you find some relief. I'm not sure if therapy is an option for you, but that could also be helpful?