The only time I can confront my fears against spiders is when I'm standing there with a can of bug spray in my hand. I always spray an area I know is full of spiders before I will ever touch it. It's just the smart thing to do is not touch where there are spiders.....spiders bite in the first place...I know, I have spider bites all over me this summer & they are just from those tiny light spiders that you wouldn't think could even bite.....but they do & the itch drives me crazy. It's not just fear of spiders, but wise not to stick your hand in an area where there are spiders.

I handed the guy who installed my heat pump unit the other week & huge full can of bug spray to kill the spiders before he went in to deal with the unit along with the OFF spray to spray on himself to keep the bugs off. He showed me the recluse spider bite he got a few years ago. Spiders are nothing to fool around with. One never knows when the spider might actually be dangerous. As a matter of fact, the black widows are not black when they are babies, they are white, then they become black with white stripes long before they ever become the black spider we recognize as being dangerous.....they are more dangerous when they are young & there are many babies in one spot after hatching out of the eggs.

I don't believe that your daughters fear is unfounded....it's more of a healthy respect for a bug that can definitely be dangerous & why stick your hand somewhere, just asking to be bit.

I put my hand into my mail box several weeks ago. Never saw the spider that bit me between my fingers, but it itches so bad for several days, I just couldn't stand it. The other day, I was walking across my field with the with open shoes.....ended up getting 2 huge bites on the arch of my foot. When I was a kid, I walked out under a tree in my parents back yard & a spider dangled down from the branch & was on my arm. Just as I saw it to brush it off, it bit me. Needless to say, there is nothing that will change my fear (or huge desire) to STAY AWAY from spiders. Just as much as I stay away from the huge wasps that keep buzzing around my house & find buzzing around my bedroom.

No need to ask for getting a bite or a sting just to "face your fears". It's really not so much fear as a good healthy respect for staying away from something that is known to bite & make you feel miserable with either itching or stinging.

Your daughter was wise to be able to stand up to her father & make sure that her wisdom of having a healthy fear & respect for staying away from where the possibility of getting bit by spiders existed.

That said, I like the way your daughter was able to stand up to her dad & also point out that his behavior was not appropriate either all is a very respectful way. That really impressed me with the way she handled herself & her dad. Not allowing herself to be pushed into something she knew wasn't ok & also pointing out that his behavior was mean in a very respectful way. You are teaching your children well while you are in such a difficult marriage situation.

Always remember that there are certain fears that should always continue to be a healthy respect for & a stay away from because of safety reasons which there is nothing wrong with. Sometimes those gut feelings that come across as fear are really our wisdom telling us not to take chances that could cause us problems & we should never be pushed to give in on things like that.