Thank you......Today i found it very hard not to think about " Germany "...why is this on my mind, how can i miss someone who I feel dosn't care that much about me. I guess i am still alive,......but it makes me wonder why i return to this behavior, when i am trying to get rid of it...i really wish i had someone i could talk to, relate to..this depresses me even more...and now i feel like a tired ,useless old man, who nobody wants.....or cares about...is crying good...because i sure as hell am doing alot of it...god i've got to kleep it together, my sorrows are starting to show , other people see me as misirable..i see my self as a waste...and to think that in my heart i still see a glimmer of hope...but hell who i'm i trying to kid, its just a false sense of security.....i'm useless and miniscule