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(((Lynn))) I know you're in a very difficult situation, and frankly I have no idea how I'd handle it, surely not as well as you do. It sounds like your children will have to learn effective communication tools much sooner than another would.
I would suggest talking about it with your daughter, without making dad the bad guy. Express that he loves her etc etc etc, and he was trying to "help" her. Teacher her to use "me" statements rather than "you" statements. "It made me feel like you didn't care that I was scared when you left" rather than "it was mean that you left."
I'm so sorry that you don't have a more postive parenting partner.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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