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I would suggest talking about it with your daughter, without making dad the bad guy. Express that he loves her etc etc etc, and he was trying to "help" her. Teacher her to use "me" statements rather than "you" statements. "It made me feel like you didn't care that I was scared when you left" rather than "it was mean that you left."
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Yes I admit they were both pretty mad after that happened. I told her later, that he just wanted her to be brave and not be afraid of things. That's a good point you made about teaching her to make 'me' statements rather than calling him a name(mean). They know he loves them and at least this is only a very occasional problem. Most of the time when he here, he's a good father and that's why I encourage them to maintain their relationship despite what's happened in our marriage.