i had my first meeting with a psychiatrist today and at the end of my first visit i was diagnosed with an eating disorder,,generalized anxiety disorder,, and he said i meet alot of the criteria for borderline personality disorder but did not want to fully diagnose it until i had further testing.....he is setting me up with another doc to do the testing(i dont know why),, ive had some bad experiences with antidepressants years ago so i did not agree to start any until after the testing...it was a very hard appointment ,,to come out and tell things about yourself that are embarrassing,,tonight,,,as with most nights , only not as deep,,i feel stupid,useless,like i do not deserve to have these thoughts,like im a failure,never have i felt good enough.............i expected to have some more answers about how to stop feeling,acting this way in life but what i got was "it would take many years of hard work that is not guaranteed...but it is possible",,my gosh im 37,,and i dont know if i can,,,i do want to, i just feel doomed.....why did it take so long for me to realize i had something wrong with me,,getting to this point has taken alot of hard self analysis,,i hope i have the strength to continue.....i hate myself today,why am i such an emotional idiot!