each evening I attempt to clear my head of all things. I keep trying to do nightly and morning meditations but I find I am still working on structure and schedule. It is my hope that as I close my eyes this evening that I will let go of whatever demons that dwell in my subconcious and create angst in my day and that I am greated with peace and tranquility tomorrow morning. Often I feel like I am getting punished for something. That I paying dearly for some terrible act committed in my past. I try to be good and kind and patient in the hopes that my current state of mental anguish eventually passes.