((((((((dearest bridgie))))))))

This must be just so awful for you! And coping with a job too, I think you are doing brilliantly. I did stop going out and now it is so hard. I had a committment to go out today but I just couldn't do it. I really hope you don't become like me.

There is a real danger that you can become addicted to the ativan and that is probably why they won't up the dosage. I am really strict with the xanax I take. I refuse to take it every day even though I have really high anxiety. It is scripted for 2 daily but I try only to take it when I have to go out and if I feel a panic attack coming on. Because if I get addicted then eventually it won't work and I will have to wean off it that is the resistance.

I went out the other day and I reached for the xanax then decided no, I was only going to a local shop and I would be home well before the xanax had a chance to take effect seeing as they take upto 1.5 hrs to kick in. I was back in less than an hour I think (can't remember really), but I felt really good for not taking it, felt proud that I handled it.

Trust yourself please dear bridgie, you support others on PC in an amazing way, so gentle yet so strong for others. Trust yourself the way we here trust what you say to us when we need support.

Sending you lots of hugs and support, letting you know that I am here for you and you can PM if if you want or need to,

Rhiannon