Thanks, Zen.

In a world of 6 billion why can't we acknowledge that we need people? I know I have to be my own ultimate source of happiness and self-fulfillment. But I also NEED loving relationships with other people.

There's no doubt that for married people that that person is "supposed" to be your spouse. But what if it's not? What if you tried to tell him/her of your unhappiness, that you cannot continue to draw from your well with nothing going into yours, and they really just don't seem to care.

Were it not for my children I would have probably begun divorce proceedings against my wife. I think that is the only thing that might get her attention as to my level of unhappiness, but even then, she might push things towards an irreparable finish. That's the characteristic of a false pride outlook. With no real self-esteem, my wife usually resorts to false pride, and combined with a raging personality, it can be a horrendous combination.

I'd like my marriage to work out. But it has to work out where two people feel loved in the ways that MATTER to them. If my wife needs alot of money and for me to do most thing around the house and with the kids . . . .I'm doing my best to provide that. I need a woman who'll smile at me and talk to me about her day and things other than her next planned purchase. I need a woman who'll reach for my hand occassionally, or stroke my hair. Who'll be the first to say "I love you" every once in awhile. I need to be with a woman who'll desire me sexually, and initiate love making every once in awhile so that we'll make love once or twice a week vs. once every few months or so.

I really feel that I'm doing my best, and nothing is happening in return. Almost like she's knows I won't leave and ceede the children over to her.

So in the meantime there was this woman who loved me . . .and showed me all those things I mentioned. God, I have to believe it THE most natural thing in the world . . . . .to return the love that someone gives to you!!! In my life, it's almost like taking that next breath!

And in my life, so devoid of intimate love . . . . .she WAS my next breath!

And now it's gone.

But why can't her non-sexual love/friendship remain in my life? I feel it'd give me the strength to work on my marriage.

Without it, I'm just so sad and beaten. And now, with each rage episode at home, I've no one to turn to. It's very devastating.

Question about T's. How could I ever find one and tell them EVERYTHING (including the infidelities) and have them NOT consider me scum?

MMF

MMF

I like our clean house and well dressed children, but that's what I need to feel love and to really have my well full enough to love totally in return. . . . .without resentment.