Bitter, I do the same thing. I have not been conciously aware of my alters but twice in my life. I did not even know I ahd alters, but looking back I can see when each was in control. My alters were just "Three of me" in my dreams. I fell apart when my husband told me something that "I" did ...I knew I was asleep. I cried for hours, I ahd never known them anywhere but in my dreams. I finally broke down and told him, after I talked to T and she told me what they were...I had no idea. I thought i was losing my mind.
I ahve had one episode where I felt like i was hijacked in my own body...it was wierd. It was just a couple of weeks ago. I was allowed just enough interaction to keep my husband from freaking out. But I was not in control. I was watching through the eyes. But not allowed to speak. Except to say, "I am fine. I will sit right here and wait for you"...that's it.
I had one episode last Thurs where I was conciously aware of my alters, it was during session with T. It is the first time in my life when I was not alseep.
I do not know if this helps any, but this is all new to me too...gl..