I'm not sure if this is an old coping skill or not, but how does one go about changing an emotion?

Specifically, when I feel hurt, I tend to lash out in anger. Is this a "fight or flight" response? I've tried to sit with it and figure out where the anger comes from, but I can't seem to get there from here.

I have become better at biting my tongue when I feel that flash of anger and trying so hard to express that my feelings were hurt, but I'm not always successful. When the anger erupts, I say things I don't mean and you know that once it's out of your mouth, there is no taking it back.

Then I wonder, did I just lash out to make the person "feel" my pain or was it a protection kind of thing to get them to back off.

I don't know, I just can't seem to get a handle on this one. Any thoughts, ideas from anyone would be appreciated.

Thanks!

sabby