I'm glad you are getting to talk to your T. Maybe the appointment will help more. Don't be sorry for posting what is going on with you. That is what we are here for to support each other. I hate how far under your skin he has gotten because he is definitely not worth your suffering. I know holding together for your son is your primary concern right now. Keep that foremost in your mind it helps me in times of desperation. Hold tight to keeping it together and just maybe you can forgo the hospital visit. I'm routing for you and hoping you get through this soon.