I'm glad you've reached out to members here, I'm pretty sure something someone says will resonate and help you.

Since you can't find a base cause for your anger, I would agree that it may be an old coping skill.

Tough love response: anger is often rooted in selfishness. When things don't go the way we want, when people don't say or do things the way we think is best, anger can result.

Feeling out of control, fearful, or neglected can result in an angry response also.

I suspect that it isn't any one thing (well, for me, it rarely is) but each situation is a bit different from the next.

It's good that you recognize it. Yes, even "hearing your mother's words" is a good realization. Once you are at this point, you're close to gaining the upper hand, imo.

When you find you lash out in anger, try and counter it asap. Find some set phrases that suit you and say one to whomever you lashed out at ... "Oh I didn't mean to say that" or "I didn't want to be so angry" etc.

One tool I would give others in counseling for anger was to try and depict when they were becoming angry, and tell the person that, such as: "This situation is making me really angry." Try not to put it on the other person as in, "YOU are making me angry." If it feels like it's them, then try and focus it elsewhere, "What you are doing is making me angry." i.e.

Try and limit your exposure to things that feed frustration and anger. I, personally, have to limit my exposure to current news or the whole world seems out of control for me and I become quite upset, which can boil over to anyone around me. Though that hasn't happened in a very long time, I think it still could at times.

Depression also holds a component of anger, btw. But recognizing that it isn't a good coping mechanism is still the best first step. PTSD causes the anxiety that creates the frustrated, lashing out, behavior as well.