Oh, Sophia! Sophia!

Honest feedback. Okay. Okay. All I know you from, of course, are your posts in PC. I don't know who you really are. I don't know how you really present yourself IRL. So what I say is based on what little I know.

You conflate "criticism" and "argument." IMHO, very H, you don't make a distinction between the kind of criticism and argument that just wants to get things straight, to understand, (legitimate) from the kind of criticism and argument that does want and/or think it's justified to add to or change something that you've said to make it accord with the facts or the theory (legitimate), from the kind of criticism and argument that just wants to tear you down, to hurt you, to make you less.

It seems, just from this post, that you don't see the first two kinds, which really are okay, not meant to hurt you, not meant to tear you down or make you feel bad. In my lifetime the major part of criticism and argument I've dealt with are the first two kinds. They really don't bother me, and I frequently learn from them. Only some kind of nut pushes the third kind, and I make sure I'm not around them too long.

And legitimate criticism and argument can be ONE HECK of a lot of fun if both parties enter into it in the same sporting spirit: By no means tearing another person down or making them feel bad about themselves or ANYTHING negative like that. But to enter into that kind of exercise and enjoy it you have to feel basically good about yourself. You're just not anywhere near that yet.

The first thing you need to do is differentiate between legitimate criticism and argument and negative criticism and argument, which you haven't done yet. I wish you the best while you attempt to deal with that. Take care.