Anger is a mask for hurt. Is it anger that's the problem or what you do with the anger that's the problem?
It's what to do with the anger mostly. In other words, when I feel it welling up, what works best for you to quell it so that you can think rationally before reacting with emotion? And then, what about the times I don't feel it welling up and it just blindsides me?

IMO I think we respond to things based on what we were given as examples growing up. For example in my home anger was handled in a very physical sense (breaking things, hitting, yelling etc..). Being a parent I have been pushed to my limits of patience and while I have never hit my children I have an understanding of how people can hurt their children in a fit of rage (if they don't have a plan or an escape).
That makes a lot of sense. In my family, my parents never fought, never raised their voices to one another (once in awhile to my brother and I). Mom and Dad "discussed" their issues like adults (or so I was told LOL).

It has taken mindfulness and planned responses for when an occasion arises (in order to not give into the rage). I find that if I don't have a plan then my anger can take over - fortunately however I have stopped myself and locked myself in a room and given myself a time out for a few minutes - LOL!!
Good for you!! I wish I had the wherewithall to do that as my kids were growing up. Not that I abused physically, but I was a screamer.

IMO when we are stressed and have no patience we go back to the core root of how to react to things (a movie that plays in our head from what we witnessed growing up). - kind of like being on auto pilot. Sometimes I hear my mothers words come out of my mouth.
If I heard my mothers words come out of my mouth it would be "Now sabby, you KNOW that acting like that and speaking like that will get you nowhere".

Thank you so much for your response....I greatly appreciate it!