((((((((((Yack))))))))))))

It sounds like you have been through some really rough experiences. I can certainly understand feeling overwhelmed with it and also missing your hometown and friends and relatives there. How far away is your hometown? Is there a friend or relative there you could go and visit for a little while? I wonder if it might do you some good to spend a little time in a place that is comfortable to you, where you have friends.

I moved around my whole life, and there isn't one place where I feel like I am from or could call a permanent home. Moving was always hard on me, so I just guess it would be even worse when you had roots and had no warning about being uprooted, and then went through all the stuff you did that would traumatize anybody. But since you are an adult, you don't have to live with your parents if you don't want to. You can live anyplace where you want to.

It sounds like you have a good T, and you have a career goal but right now it's hard to finish those last few steps to reach your goal. What if you think about where you would like to be five years from now? What do you need to do in order to get there? Can you break it down into manageable steps?

I don't know how to make it easier for you, but you can cry on my shoulder if you like. You're welcome to PM me. Ask for support when you need it, from us here, your T, your parents, etc.

Take Care,
Rap