Hmmmm, me thinks that sleeps with butterflies has a point. You need to build a solid foundation where you can feel a self and a sense of belonging. School can wait. Many of us change our career paths 3-4 times in our lives. I wonder if you went to the home town and got a job and made a SAFE home for you if it would help. You need a place that is yours and is safe. Good luck. By the way, that guy got you at a most vulnerable age and I wonder if speaking in group therapy would help. It is not your fault and very few people I know have followed a direct route of schooling straight through to a PHD and then to workforce. It seems you expect a lot from you. Be kind and find the life you need and want.