I am also working to move on from old coping skills. It's not easy; my first reaction is still to at least consider using my old, ineffective, sometimes pretty primitive responses, which might have been at least somewhat socially acceptable when I was very young but don't serve me well now. I have Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder, both diagnosed only a couple of years ago, when I was already over 50. I have found some of the tools of Dialectical Behavior Therapy useful (although I've never received that treatment) -- especially stuff like mindfulness and grounding. I was very angry with my husband last week and managed to avoid lashing out at him by simply paying attention to my surroundings for a while until it seemed safe to talk. Specifically, I inventoried everything that was green as we drove somewhere ... I live in the Northwest, so there's plenty of green, and I wasn't driving, otherwise this might not have been the greatest idea. Another thing: sometimes I think about that old Barry Manilow song -- "Feelings, nothing more than feelings ..." and it helps me to remember that everything passes, even strong emotions. I'm glad you posted -- it helped me.