Thanks Kitty for your warm reply.

My wife is the way she is because of her upbringing. She only knows CONDITIONAL love and therefore only loves conditionally. I might be willing to make an exception to that statement when it comes to our children, because she knows the devastation she suffered growing up and never be worthy of her parent's love.

But she's still impacted by it as evidenced by our relationship. I truly feel that now I'm only as loved as the size of my paycheck.

And yes, if a friendship develops with another woman in the future, I now KNOW it must remain non-sexual. But Kitty, she looked me in the eyes and asked me to kiss her. Later, upon insisting we have intercourse she told me she loved me like no other man. God, I feel like a 17 year old girl lied to on prom night! But I wanted to believe her with every fiber in my body . . . . .obviously, I did believe her. And the fact that we then stopped the sexual part of us, if she could have just remained my friend . . .I swear I wouldn't feel lied to, or worse, used.

But now, I sorta do.

Thanks,

MMF