Marriage doesn't mean any of those things you just listed. Some people can be in a very loving, caring and respectful relationship without being married. Instead of thinking about why he won't propose, maybe think about why you are so obsessed with getting married? To me it sounds like you just think because of the length of your relationship and your age that it's just 'time' to do it. Have you two ever talked about marriage and actually gotten his view on it? My boyfriend and I have both talked about how neither of us feel the need to get married and that, if we did, it would be for the family and not for us because we don't care either way. I think that if it seems like you would be fine breaking it off simply because he hasn't proposed then maybe you don't need to be in that relationship anyways? Why does marriage have to be there for you to be happy? If you can't invest in him without that promise of a wedding then it sounds like you aren't being fair to him. It doesn't really sound like you two SHOULD get married. Sorry.