I have thought about this a lot lately myself. I have been with my guy for over 3 years. He isn't ready to get remarried and I respect that. At first I really wanted to be married. Then I started asking myself WHY. And here is what I came up with for me - it was to unify ourselves as a family (he has twin daughters from his previous marriage). I have since decided that I would be fine with a committment ceremony or handfasting. I do want to change my last name to his. He didn't understand this until I finally told him, that I want my last name to be the same as my children (his children). We don't plan on having any of our own.

Sorry if I went on a tangent. But I agree you need to figure out why marriage is so important to you. A piece of paper isn;t going to make you happy (imo).