Maybe the root of the problem is, can you trust yourself?

I find that when I am depressed I doubt mainly myself and my own mtives. When I am like this that distrust seems to spill over on everyone else. I began to see them as my depression teaches me to se myself. Not good. Add to that the simple fact that I have been hurt by people, many times, and when i am down, I am a pill to live with.

I had to learn not just to trust, but who to trust in what area. I could trust one person I know with my life or the life of my kids. He would NEVER allow harm to come to someone whom he has accepted responsibility for. But trust him to be there if I need to talk when I need to break when my kid has been too much? NO WAY! Certain people I can trust to hold secrets, others to come no matter what if there is an emergency (sometimes they might be the same person!) I can trust my hubby not to cheat and to fight to the end to keep me and the boys safe, fed, and warm, but I know he can say some mean things sometimes, and I can't trust him to always have a handle on his own anxiety.

trust is tightly bound with accepting that others are human and have their own troubles. It's not a all or nothing thing for me anymore, and I have been happier since I have sorted out the concept of what it means for me to trust. I accept the fact that my love and hubby has his limitations. I know he can be trusted with nearly everything, but I accept that in certain matters his demons take over, and I have safeguarded myself. Having done that, I can allow myself to love him and trust him as much as a person can be trusted. I also have to accept the fact that I mess up things for myself, too, often without meaning to. That doens't mean that I should distrust myself, bt I know when to be extra careful with myself.
Huggs, NF, and soory if this was longwinded.