I do have eople to talk to and sometimes it helps. And I have had that conversation with my sister both when she could understand and recently even though she can't walk, talk, or eat by herself and probably does not understand. And your right it does help - for awhile. But the cycles of grief tend to cycle (hence probably the term cycle) birthdays, holidays are the hardest. Thanks so much for your response - I think I need to just process it "outloud" and this helped.