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Sep 01, 2010, 10:00 PM
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Moderator Community Support Team
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Member Since: Feb 2005
Location: Southwest of Northeast
Posts: 33,346
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES
Feeling angry makes perfect sense.
What wouldn't make sense would be to feel happy when hurt.
Behaving aggressively even makes sense. It's a way of standing up for yourself, of 'fighting back', of retaliating or for protection to prevent further hurt.
It also makes sense, and feels much better, to be able to look at the 'hurt' more and see what that's about. When that's understood and action is needed, it can be assertive rather than aggressive. It becomes more about you and less about the other.
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I think you hit the nail on the head (((( Echoes )))). "It's a way of standing up for yourself, of 'fighting back', of retaliating or for protection to prevent further hurt." Wow, that statement has brought to light a childhood issue I had. I did not feel "heard" by my mom very often. Don't get me wrong, I loved my mom very much and I know she loved me, but she treated me differently than she treated my brother. There was a different bond between them, and you know, I get that as I had a closer bond with my dad than my brother did. But, it was my mom that I needed to "hear" me and very often, in her very logical talk, I felt invalidated. Over time, instead of just talking, I would yell and get angry thinking she would hear me then!!
Thank you ECHOES!!!! Now I am getting more understanding. So maybe in my response to (JD) I was a bit off....as I didn't have that realization quite yet. But, I can say this, I have worked through a lot of my anger issues over the years. This is the last bit of it that I've been having problems with figuring out. Still, I don't display or feel anger towards others that are not within my family or other loved ones.
More about me and less about the other.......definitely makes sense. Again, thank you so much! I really think I'm onto something here! 
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