I posted about 3 months ago about how i was going back to live with my mother and how she'd sort me out and make me better.

I've been here now just over two months and i was working 40 hours a week- and doing nothing else except exhausting myself and drinking inbetween shifts, and so the bonding intended to happen between my and my mother didn't quite go to plan.

In fact i got more depressed having to go out and work and talk to people when i knew she was at home all happy with the baby. She hardly speaks to me, and nothing i do is ever good enough.

I was sacked from my job (finally) a few days ago. I just couldn't hack it, and i need poeple to understand that. Surely, my mother does not and claims that anyone who cannot hold down a job must be useless and a waste of space. She's pushing me even more now, making me feel guilty all the time. I wish she'd see something special in me instead, and pay me some attention.

She makes me want to ***** myself up even more right under her nose, just to test how long it'll take her to realise that i'm not alright.